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  1. #5501
    Senior Member Vanity's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by leftzing View Post
    He really wanted to have kids, apparently that is one of the major issues with his partner. She wanted kids. Dave said it was unlikely, but that adoption could be considered. However, he was not a candidate for adopting a child with his current issues. Guy agreed but then said it was really sad he cannot bring someone into the world. Then still kinda stated he might be able to have kids. It was some denial.

    Later, he said that if his partner left then he had nothing to live for as she is the only good thing that has happened to him (co-dependency).
    Sounds much more like he has some deep rooted issues rather than "addicted to steroids". This dude trying to shift the blame onto steroids when its obvious its something else in his head.

    I have yet to see or hear of anyone going through withdrawal by stopping steroids.
    Live your life by the hour, not by the day. What will you achieve in the next hour?
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  2. #5502
    Senior Member Bulgarian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by leftzing View Post
    He really wanted to have kids, apparently that is one of the major issues with his partner. She wanted kids. Dave said it was unlikely, but that adoption could be considered. However, he was not a candidate for adopting a child with his current issues. Guy agreed but then said it was really sad he cannot bring someone into the world. Then still kinda stated he might be able to have kids. It was some denial.

    Later, he said that if his partner left then he had nothing to live for as she is the only good thing that has happened to him (co-dependency).
    that was the one side I really questioned before hopping on aas so I froze semen since both things were important to me but I mean otherwise I thought everyone could pct hcg hmg and chances were you would be able to have a kid.

    Shit didn't bostin say he was gonna have a kid without coming off even?
    all posts are fictional and for education

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    Quote Originally Posted by jasonblahadisciple View Post
    i theorize my paranoid schizophrenia was caused by trenbolone deficiency

  3. #5503
    Senior Member Bulgarian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vanity View Post
    Sounds much more like he has some deep rooted issues rather than "addicted to steroids". This dude trying to shift the blame onto steroids when its obvious its something else in his head.

    I have yet to see or hear of anyone going through withdrawal by stopping steroids.
    wouldn't low test be "withdrawl" in a sense?
    all posts are fictional and for education

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    Quote Originally Posted by jasonblahadisciple View Post
    i theorize my paranoid schizophrenia was caused by trenbolone deficiency

  4. #5504
    Senior Member madbrah77's Avatar
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    Im seeing a girl ATM but looks like this gonna be an unhealthy relationship due to various reasons and on top of that I'm on tren so what to do

    @leftzing

  5. #5505
    MENTAL ILLNESS The Dude's Dude's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by madbrah77 View Post
    Im seeing a girl ATM but looks like this gonna be an unhealthy relationship due to various reasons and on top of that I'm on tren so what to do

    @leftzing
    Just keep on smashin & once u come off tren and can think properly again you decide if you want to date or nah
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  6. #5506
    Senior Member Vanity's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bulgarian View Post
    wouldn't low test be "withdrawl" in a sense?
    That wouldnt classify as withdrawl no
    Live your life by the hour, not by the day. What will you achieve in the next hour?
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  7. #5507
    Senior Member Behappy1's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by madbrah77 View Post
    Im seeing a girl ATM but looks like this gonna be an unhealthy relationship due to various reasons and on top of that I'm on tren so what to do

    @leftzing
    in b4 you marry her

    anyway stay safe dont make life changing decisions on tren
    lol @ natties

    natty for 7 months and counting

  8. #5508
    Senior Member gabe2500's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lipolysis View Post
    I remember you telling us how you took clen and dnp before they went mainstream
    Don't remember. I will tell you the redicat stuff was just like square sheets of a certain hallucinogenic. Small enough sheets to fit in an envelope, so several sheets depending how many you ordered. Each of the perforated individual squares were about the size of keyboard keys give or take.

  9. #5509
    Senior Member Lipolysis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Special Agent Blaha View Post
    Yeah I agree that addicts can often be very smart. The dumbest shit I've ever heard is "addicts are so stupid because they could have just said no to drugs", as if depression, anxiety, sexual abuse, etc play no role in drug addiction....

    Hell, my GF dropped out of college and was addicted to oxycodone and meth. Fast forward 5 years, she's clean with no relapses, and about to finish her Master's degree with a 3.8ish GPA.

    And regarding gambling, I consider myself to have an addictive personality (used a lot of drugs earlier in life, but got my shit together, and dont abuse AAS), but I never ever liked gambling. Actually, I fucking hate gambling. It gives me really bad anxiety, and even small bets fuck with me and I can't enjoy watching a game knowing I have money on the line (like even $20 on a football game). I swear I'm in the top 1% of most gambling averse people on the planet.

    Quote Originally Posted by leftzing View Post
    There was one period when I got into coke heavily where I decided that I was going to be a sports gambler. I did really well over one baseball and hockey season but could never place big bets because it seemed dumb. Then I lost all the money I made. I also started buying lots of designer clothes and shit like that. I still like the clothes. I was a dirty hippie/"tree thug" (people in the late 90s-early 2000s rave/jamband scene know) before that and was maturing, but the coke made me delusional. I've gambled a few times in "recovery" and its been fine. I do tend to get overstimulated in casinos though, so going often would be a no-no.

    I posted about it on another thread but had an upper middle class girlfriend who graduated with a biz degree and minor in arabic. She finished college and got a great job.. a year later she was living in trap houses. She knew how to play the black dudes and had this extremely subtile sexiness. She would get her shit together and relapse often, like I did. She lived with me for about a year and started to relapse towards the end. She bottomed out with me and finally went to treatment for like the 9th time and got it. She is making fucking bank right now and living in downtown Chicago. I am pretty proud of her, even though she put me through a lot of pain. She was legit suicidal towards the end. Like me, she had been abused and sadly sexually assaulted a few times. Dope and coke fixes that pain at first.

    I was a depressed, anxious, obsessive insomniac as a child with ADD. I come from a very wealthy family but also was abused by a few different people in a few different ways. Plus my genes are fucked. The minute I took a drink and smoked I felt correct, when I took an opiate for the first time (I was really young) I remember feeling "this is it" and it was for a long time. I felt perfect and I of course sought that out. It perplexed me that other people would get sick and not like Vicodins and shit.

    It sucked but it made me a much stronger person. Sometimes I wish I could drink like a normal person but I cannot. That being said, lots and lots of Americans, Canadians, Euros, Aussies have drinking issues. They might not be alcoholic, but they are problem drinkers. Hell, most college students meet the definition.

    I am currently talking to two people that I know personally that have issues:

    One is a mid 20 year old ex of mine. She has a really dependent personality and it just seems like she is spiraling out. She knows that she is engaging in self medication by smoking weed all the time and its making her lazy. She does have a good chance of getting her shit together if she takes action. Plus she is pretty self aware and has worked with people with addictions and dated me.

    The other is someone my age that I used to use with but he never stopped drinking. He kept passing out in front of his kids yet so he cannot do anything with them. His wife is about to leave him. His parents aren't talking to him. His oldest son is being traumatized and suffering anxiety due to his drinking. He gets verbally abusive and his wife comes from an alcoholic family so she is trying to do the right thing but is co-dependent as fuck.

    He was in the ER for throwing up blood over the weekend but didn't want to go to treatment so they gave him ativan. He refuses to go to meetings or therapy. He needs to go to treatment immediately but doesn't want to and thinks its "not that bad". He will tell me he is "doing good" and I call him on that. I used to say the same though. Right now, it looks like he is going to die from the disease.

    Both of these people are really smart and actually really sensitive. One is a Social Worker but she quit her job and has just been smoking weed, the other was a Nurse until he got fired.
    when you actually think about it drugs are only cheap the first few times you do them lol

    They get pretty expensive when you're snorting an 8ball+/weekend , so it's natural that the types of people who can sustain this type of life are actually pretty smart, since the not so smart ones just end up homeless and begging for change

    you have to have a lot of hustle to be a successful drug addict
    Last edited by Lipolysis; 2017-08-13 at 08:11 AM.

  10. #5510
    Moderator leftzing's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vanity View Post
    Sounds much more like he has some deep rooted issues rather than "addicted to steroids". This dude trying to shift the blame onto steroids when its obvious its something else in his head.

    I have yet to see or hear of anyone going through withdrawal by stopping steroids.
    Withdrawal isn't need to meet the status of addiction. Furthermore, addiction goes far beyond the substance/s used. I would put using steroids more in the "addictive behaviors" category, rather then substances dependence. Also, the guy in the interview does talk about having withdrawal symptoms when he lowers his dose. Then you get into the Dopamine action of Nandrolones (and Dbol). Tren also supposedly messes around with Serotonin. Its why some people have found taking 5-htp or SSRIs on Tren helps.

    Yes, he has some extremely deep rooted issues. Most addicts (hell most people) do. When I think about using drugs, for me its just a severe manifestation of an inner problem I have. Its why things don't automatically get better when addicts stop using drugs. But yes, the guy likely has an compulsive personality along with depression and body image issues.
    Just so you know, If you throw me out I will probably kill you and everyone that is around us - PJ Braun

  11. #5511
    Moderator leftzing's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by madbrah77 View Post
    Im seeing a girl ATM but looks like this gonna be an unhealthy relationship due to various reasons and on top of that I'm on tren so what to do

    @leftzing
    Well its not a good sign that you already feel it could go toxic, I know that feeling though and it can be hard to resist. "love", "attraction", "the chase" all that shit has neurological impact. It makes us feel good. Its a survival thing. Same reason why breaking up and rejection feel "bad". Survival depended on being in a group so biologically that behavior is reinforced and leaving that group is prevented by feeling like shit. Many other animals (remember, thats all we are) have similar things going on. Hell, look at the dog. They literally follow their owners around all day, they will also protect those owners for self preservation.

    Try to think of how this relationship makes you feel. The girl I go back and forth with causes extremely intense reactions sometimes. The first time we hung out I was like shaking and super charged up. She was so up in her head she backed into a car. From that point on it was a roller coaster of huge highs and bad lows. Sounds just like a drug. I still seek out those highs and I am assuming she does because one of use always ends up contacting the other after 1-2ish months of not talking. She supposedly "butt called" me on accident at 1:00 AM on Friday. I hadn't talked to her on the phone for over a week so I am not sure how a butt call happened.

    When it comes to Tren that shit fucks with me when it comes to relationships so bad. I am usually okay if I am seeing someone, but then I become more obsessive about them. Lots of people talk about becoming paranoid and controlling of their partners when on Tren, enough where it appears its a thing. It makes sense because hormones do impact behavior and emotions.

    You aren't going to stop hitting it, but I really wouldn't commit to anything until you are in a better spot to judge. Also, if you like this girl and she ghosts or something, try to remember that you are under the influence of Tren. Tren seems to make the rejection shit worse, probably because our survival instincts are heightened. This stuff is so easy to write out, its what I tell people all the time. I have seen toxic relationship after toxic relationship, including ones that got violent but I personally really struggle with them.

    Since you have a feeling it could go toxic, I'd imagine you have been there before. So you might be prone or drawn to those relationships like I am. Ask yourself what you are trying to get out of it? Like when I talk to my ex, its because I do want to see how she is doing and help her (she is younger but in the same field as me) but I also want to fuck her again. She knows this as well.

    There is another ex that I talk to that I am not really attracted to anymore and know she is happy in her relationship and doing well. When I talk to her, its because we are both in recovery and friends. Its a totally different feeling.

    The good thing is that you are aware of the potential of the toxic relationship. Many people do not have that self awareness.

    Two suggestions that are going to sound cheesy:

    1. Make a Pros and Cons list about the situation and be honest

    2. Start journaling or just free writing and see what comes up. Try not to think about what you are writing.

    Quote Originally Posted by Bulgarian View Post
    wouldn't low test be "withdrawl" in a sense?
    Yes.

    http://mentalhealthdaily.com/2014/08...ou-may-notice/

    When I had to come off cold turkey, it felt very much like withdrawal from other drugs. Its just the "craving" wasn't there. However, there was a craving in getting my appearance back, getting into lifting... I wanted that control back. Control is a big one for many people, because they feel they can prevent themselves from harm with it. Its why Children of Alcoholics/Addicts can become massive control freaks. My Bro-In-Law is the worst control freak I know, always wants to manage the situation. His dad is a huge fucking Alcoholic. This control has helped him become a Captain in the Army and also in his career as a lawyer, but it has caused huge problems at times with my sister.

    As for having kids.... yeah it would really suck to not be able to conceive. I think Bostin does want kids, he wasn't realistic about it though. Adoption is a good thing and there is a tremendous need that is for sure. I worked with kids in the Foster Care system for years (brutal job, never again. Heart and soul destroying to see children in that position) and believe me there are not enough home for the kids in the system. Its a bit harder to get younger kids because nobody wants the teenagers.
    Last edited by leftzing; 2017-08-13 at 12:00 PM.
    Just so you know, If you throw me out I will probably kill you and everyone that is around us - PJ Braun

  12. #5512
    Senior Member Bulgarian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by leftzing View Post
    Well its not a good sign that you already feel it could go toxic, I know that feeling though and it can be hard to resist. "love", "attraction", "the chase" all that shit has neurological impact. It makes us feel good. Its a survival thing. Same reason why breaking up and rejection feel "bad". Survival depended on being in a group so biologically that behavior is reinforced and leaving that group is prevented by feeling like shit. Many other animals (remember, thats all we are) have similar things going on. Hell, look at the dog. They literally follow their owners around all day, they will also protect those owners for self preservation.

    Try to think of how this relationship makes you feel. The girl I go back and forth with causes extremely intense reactions sometimes. The first time we hung out I was like shaking and super charged up. She was so up in her head she backed into a car. From that point on it was a roller coaster of huge highs and bad lows. Sounds just like a drug. I still seek out those highs and I am assuming she does because one of use always ends up contacting the other after 1-2ish months of not talking. She supposedly "butt called" me on accident at 1:00 AM on Friday. I hadn't talked to her on the phone for over a week so I am not sure how a butt call happened.

    When it comes to Tren that shit fucks with me when it comes to relationships so bad. I am usually okay if I am seeing someone, but then I become more obsessive about them. Lots of people talk about becoming paranoid and controlling of their partners when on Tren, enough where it appears its a thing. It makes sense because hormones do impact behavior and emotions.

    You aren't going to stop hitting it, but I really wouldn't commit to anything until you are in a better spot to judge. Also, if you like this girl and she ghosts or something, try to remember that you are under the influence of Tren. Tren seems to make the rejection shit worse, probably because our survival instincts are heightened. This stuff is so easy to write out, its what I tell people all the time. I have seen toxic relationship after toxic relationship, including ones that got violent but I personally really struggle with them.

    Since you have a feeling it could go toxic, I'd imagine you have been there before. So you might be prone or drawn to those relationships like I am. Ask yourself what you are trying to get out of it? Like when I talk to my ex, its because I do want to see how she is doing and help her (she is younger but in the same field as me) but I also want to fuck her again. She knows this as well.

    There is another ex that I talk to that I am not really attracted to anymore and know she is happy in her relationship and doing well. When I talk to her, its because we are both in recovery and friends. Its a totally different feeling.

    The good thing is that you are aware of the potential of the toxic relationship. Many people do not have that self awareness.

    Two suggestions that are going to sound cheesy:

    1. Make a Pros and Cons list about the situation and be honest

    2. Start journaling or just free writing and see what comes up. Try not to think about what you are writing.



    Yes.

    http://mentalhealthdaily.com/2014/08...ou-may-notice/

    When I had to come off cold turkey, it felt very much like withdrawal from other drugs. Its just the "craving" wasn't there. However, there was a craving in getting my appearance back, getting into lifting... I wanted that control back. Control is a big one for many people, because they feel they can prevent themselves from harm with it. Its why Children of Alcoholics/Addicts can become massive control freaks. My Bro-In-Law is the worst control freak I know, always wants to manage the situation. His dad is a huge fucking Alcoholic. This control has helped him become a Captain in the Army and also in his career as a lawyer, but it has caused huge problems at times with my sister.

    As for having kids.... yeah it would really suck to not be able to conceive. I think Bostin does want kids, he wasn't realistic about it though. Adoption is a good thing and there is a tremendous need that is for sure. I worked with kids in the Foster Care system for years (brutal job, never again. Heart and soul destroying to see children in that position) and believe me there are not enough home for the kids in the system. Its a bit harder to get younger kids because nobody wants the teenagers.
    I understand adopting is good for the kid and for society, but it's not your flesh and blood in a sense so it's understandable why people including steroid users want their own kids. Also didn't chode in here have a kid or 2 after like 5 years of mostly blasting bbers having kids etc. I guess I'm trying to justify it even though I have a 'out' but even though people say infirtility is possible there's a lot of examples of juicers fathering kids. I don't see how for example if you get off Clomid hcg Hmg up and rely on that for a few months you wouldn't be able to unless you weren't able to to start with. Guess being infirtile is not something people wanna hear they are etc.
    Last edited by Bulgarian; 2017-08-13 at 12:10 PM.
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    Quote Originally Posted by jasonblahadisciple View Post
    i theorize my paranoid schizophrenia was caused by trenbolone deficiency

  13. #5513
    Moderator leftzing's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bulgarian View Post
    I understand adopting is good for the kid and for society, but it's not your flesh and blood in a sense so it's understandable why people including steroid users want their own kids. Also didn't chode in here have a kid or 2 after like 5 years of mostly blasting bbers having kids etc. I guess I'm trying to justify it even though I have a 'out' but even though people say infirtility is possible there's a lot of examples of juicers fathering kids. I don't see how for example if you get off Clomid hcg Hmg up and rely on that for a few months you wouldn't be able to unless you weren't able to to start with. Guess being infirtile is not something people wanna hear they are etc.
    Oh of course not, hell, most Foster Families have there own kids as well as adopted kids. Its fucked, but a decent sized chunk of foster families I dealt with were super creepy hardcore Christians that are trying to evangelize the kids. It was a constant battle with them, you are not supposed to indoctrinate the kid until adopted.

    My main thing is that people pay 10s of thousands of dollars for kids from overseas but yet we have this need here. I can understand overseas adoption if you are in a small ethnic group and want to adopt and raise the kid in your culture.

    I have mentioned it before and I know I told you this but I did get someone preggers while on blast. Most people can restart and procreate, but the guy in the video is an extreme example in dosage and behaviors.

    My one thing with Crosland is his constant claim that having kids while on blast somehow alters the child and "makes them more aggressive". He claims that he has noticed it in his children. But, he has also admitted to having a very rough past and also has had issues as an adult. How does he know that hasn't had an impact? Genetics matter but 99 percent of the time the environment and parenting style is going to have a much larger impact on a kid.
    Last edited by leftzing; 2017-08-13 at 01:39 PM.
    Just so you know, If you throw me out I will probably kill you and everyone that is around us - PJ Braun

  14. #5514
    Senior Member Vanity's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by leftzing View Post
    Withdrawal isn't need to meet the status of addiction. Furthermore, addiction goes far beyond the substance/s used. I would put using steroids more in the "addictive behaviors" category, rather then substances dependence. Also, the guy in the interview does talk about having withdrawal symptoms when he lowers his dose. Then you get into the Dopamine action of Nandrolones (and Dbol). Tren also supposedly messes around with Serotonin. Its why some people have found taking 5-htp or SSRIs on Tren helps.

    Yes, he has some extremely deep rooted issues. Most addicts (hell most people) do. When I think about using drugs, for me its just a severe manifestation of an inner problem I have. Its why things don't automatically get better when addicts stop using drugs. But yes, the guy likely has an compulsive personality along with depression and body image issues.
    I just think he falls more in the self destructive type. He hates himself and usessteroids to cope with his crapppy mindset.

    Last thing the steroid user community needs is for steroids to be linked with addiction giving the autority even more motivation to enforce them.
    Live your life by the hour, not by the day. What will you achieve in the next hour?
    ''Frank Zane''

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    Junior Member Myboiblue's Avatar
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    I'm trying to decide on my next cycle and the whole goal of it is a nice, long, and pleasant bulking cycle. I say cycle but I blast and cruise. I just can't deal with the harsher shit anymore and need a break. Tried to force my self on tren and hated it, I just feel toxic as shit on it even with decent bloods. Followed forum advice about it being king and after two attempts I'm done, good gains but I want to feel good and not like shit.
    5'11 220lbs
    Bench: 350
    Squat 495 x 8
    23 years old
    Cycle history:
    Test 500mgs a week for 16 weeks with SuperDrol at the beginning for 4 weeks
    8 week cruise
    Test 750mgs for 12 weeks no orals, fucked my shoulder up week 12 and decided to end it there
    Cruise 10 weeks
    Test 150mgs a week tren e 500mgs a week for 20 weeks, SuperDrol 4 weeks on 4 off
    Cruise 10 weeks
    Test 500mgs tren e 400mgs for 8weeks, then test 200mgs tren e 600mgs for 8 weeks with dbol in there for 4weeks at the beginning.
    Currently cruising on week 6 going to cruise for another month or so

    Looking at 3 options:
    Test 200mgs deca at 500 or 600 for 20 weeks

    Test 500 or 750 with 400 mast 20 weeks

    Test and eq, I have no idea on dosages
    Trying to avoid orals

    Any advice or thoughts? I want to try deca but I've heard good and bad on how it makes people feel and at this point I would trade gains for feeling great.

  16. #5516
    Senior Member ricketycricket's Avatar
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    Any aussies can help out with some caber/prami quickly? Just to get me by whilst my package arives from overseas

  17. #5517
    Senior Member Erenbrah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Myboiblue View Post
    I'm trying to decide on my next cycle and the whole goal of it is a nice, long, and pleasant bulking cycle. I say cycle but I blast and cruise. I just can't deal with the harsher shit anymore and need a break. Tried to force my self on tren and hated it, I just feel toxic as shit on it even with decent bloods. Followed forum advice about it being king and after two attempts I'm done, good gains but I want to feel good and not like shit.
    5'11 220lbs
    Bench: 350
    Squat 495 x 8
    23 years old
    Cycle history:
    Test 500mgs a week for 16 weeks with SuperDrol at the beginning for 4 weeks
    8 week cruise
    Test 750mgs for 12 weeks no orals, fucked my shoulder up week 12 and decided to end it there
    Cruise 10 weeks
    Test 150mgs a week tren e 500mgs a week for 20 weeks, SuperDrol 4 weeks on 4 off
    Cruise 10 weeks
    Test 500mgs tren e 400mgs for 8weeks, then test 200mgs tren e 600mgs for 8 weeks with dbol in there for 4weeks at the beginning.
    Currently cruising on week 6 going to cruise for another month or so

    Looking at 3 options:
    Test 200mgs deca at 500 or 600 for 20 weeks

    Test 500 or 750 with 400 mast 20 weeks

    Test and eq, I have no idea on dosages
    Trying to avoid orals

    Any advice or thoughts? I want to try deca but I've heard good and bad on how it makes people feel and at this point I would trade gains for feeling great.
    First option is the best just up the test to 350 and 20 weeks is a solid timeline. some people even do deca for 30 weeks

  18. #5518
    Senior Member FijiSotia's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ricketycricket View Post
    Any aussies can help out with some caber/prami quickly? Just to get me by whilst my package arives from overseas
    PM me bro

  19. #5519
    Moderator leftzing's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vanity View Post
    I just think he falls more in the self destructive type. He hates himself and usessteroids to cope with his crapppy mindset.

    Last thing the steroid user community needs is for steroids to be linked with addiction giving the autority even more motivation to enforce them.
    If the shoe fits though..... lots of addicts hate themselves, I sure as fuck did. But that is compounded by the drug use. Behaviors can be addicting, I think that is more of where steroid abuse falls under. Also, when it comes to withdrawal, it doesn't only happen with substances that are psychologically or physically reinforcing like "drugs". Look at SSRIs for example. The WDs off those can really suck (Effexor is notorious for this in particular. Strange medication, most people it doesn't work for and some it makes them worse like me. But for those people that it works for it can basically wipe out major depression. Proof at how different we are wired)

    Addiction shouldn't be stigmatized. I get what you are saying. Society is getting much better with how it views addiction. Hell, only a few decades ago it was considered a "moral failing".
    Just so you know, If you throw me out I will probably kill you and everyone that is around us - PJ Braun

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    Senior Member Madbrah's Avatar
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    Do you guys think BCAAs are worth spending your money on?


 

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