As of now i've cut ties with most all my old buddies, because it felt as if all of them where bad influences on my lifting and my work-life.
The only joy i experience is patting myself on the shoulder after a well done 60+ hour workweek or a bloodshot-eyes and pukeinducing workout.
Yet i never feel like i'm efficient or thorough enough in anything i do, it's like i'm never realizing more then 80% of my potential.
It's frustrating af, it feels as if my body refuses to keep up with my mind.
Often feel as if the walls are closing in on me, as if something is going to give in.
But uf my eyes aren't bloodshot and i cant taste blood in the back of my mouth it's like something is wrong, i suddenly feel like a lazy pleb.
Not to mention the growing disdain i have towards most people, getting annoyed at their subpar workethic, accountability and skinnyfat bodies, it's like they are content with just floating by, day to day, without any goal or purpose, i just want to shake the lazyness out of them, even though their uselessness makes me feel better about myself not achieving my true potentional even though i recognize this as a crutch.
When it comes to the ladies they all seem too lazy and dumb for me to be bat an eye at them.
@proudmanlet how are you so positive?
This is starting to manifest itself to something negative in me realizing my goals, my bitterness is leaking trough when i am communicating with bosses etc.
Im ok with never being some happy go lucky pleb but i'd like to become someone who doesn't want to strangle everybody.