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Thread: Micro Invasion

  1. #1
    Member FitLord's Avatar
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    Micro Invasion

    This is a comic I threw together a year or two ago, this is what some people are into, it involves shrunken people interacting with normal sized women.










  2. #2
    Platinum Member RedSpeedo's Avatar
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    Too much text. And too didactic of a style. Do we need to know that relocating them to the prison planet was more cost effective than an other solution? It adds absolutely nothing but boring text to the story. You should make the aliens give the backstory through the dialog and let the reader piece the puzzle, like through two mini-humans talking for example:

    - And can you tell me why the hell we ended up on this goddamned planet? Didn’t Governor Trumbull plan to relocate us to the Colony?
    - Dude, Trumbull is a pushover. You know how cheap the Space Ministry is. They wanted to save a couple of zulecks.

    Boom! This way, you introduced a weak governor, a Colony that seems a better place than the prison planet, a cheapo and possibly corrupt administration, a fictitious currency...

    Storytelling brah. I thought you wrote for In Living Color.

  3. #3
    Member FitLord's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RedSpeedo View Post
    Too much text. And too didactic of a style. Do we need to know that relocating them to the prison planet was more cost effective than an other solution? It adds absolutely nothing but boring text to the story. You should make the aliens give the backstory through the dialog and let the reader piece the puzzle, like through two mini-humans talking for example:

    - And can you tell me why the hell we ended up on this goddamned planet? Didn’t Governor Trumbull plan to relocate us to the Colony?
    - Dude, Trumbull is a pushover. You know how cheap the Space Ministry is. They wanted to save a couple of zulecks.

    Boom! This way, you introduced a weak governor, a Colony that seems a better place than the prison planet, a cheapo and possibly corrupt administration, a fictitious currency...

    Storytelling brah. I thought you wrote for In Living Color.
    Thanks for your critique, when I do the final draft, I’ll take into account your advice. I plan on making this into a novel, then draw a comic book version of it. I agree that there is too much text in this version.

  4. #4
    Senior Member connu mcgregu's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RedSpeedo View Post
    Too much text. And too didactic of a style. Do we need to know that relocating them to the prison planet was more cost effective than an other solution? It adds absolutely nothing but boring text to the story. You should make the aliens give the backstory through the dialog and let the reader piece the puzzle, like through two mini-humans talking for example:

    - And can you tell me why the hell we ended up on this goddamned planet? Didn’t Governor Trumbull plan to relocate us to the Colony?
    - Dude, Trumbull is a pushover. You know how cheap the Space Ministry is. They wanted to save a couple of zulecks.

    Boom! This way, you introduced a weak governor, a Colony that seems a better place than the prison planet, a cheapo and possibly corrupt administration, a fictitious currency...

    Storytelling brah. I thought you wrote for In Living Color.
    Really need to keep you in my counsel when I make it (srs)

  5. #5
    Platinum Member RedSpeedo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by connu mcgregu View Post
    Really need to keep you in my counsel when I make it (srs)
    We?re all gonna make it, brah.

  6. #6
    Guilty of espionage Deep Purple's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RedSpeedo View Post
    Too much text. And too didactic of a style. Do we need to know that relocating them to the prison planet was more cost effective than an other solution? It adds absolutely nothing but boring text to the story. You should make the aliens give the backstory through the dialog and let the reader piece the puzzle, like through two mini-humans talking for example:

    - And can you tell me why the hell we ended up on this goddamned planet? Didn’t Governor Trumbull plan to relocate us to the Colony?
    - Dude, Trumbull is a pushover. You know how cheap the Space Ministry is. They wanted to save a couple of zulecks.

    Boom! This way, you introduced a weak governor, a Colony that seems a better place than the prison planet, a cheapo and possibly corrupt administration, a fictitious currency...

    Storytelling brah. I thought you wrote for In Living Color.
    Nice to see feedback like that opposed to people just saying “Didn’t read” etc.

  7. #7
    Fitmisc Pariah Janoy Cresva's Avatar
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    am I wrong to assume the person that wrote this has a slight foot fetish? If I had to go further I would guess they like being humiliated by women(the women hurting him then trying to protect it and take it to hospital).. plus the other one saying she wont "catch a charge" unless she kills one. This is actually very funny. Not sure whether you meant it to be OP. Either way 8/10 thread. Would read again
    I'm here for the ments.

  8. #8
    Member FitLord's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Janoy Cresva View Post
    am I wrong to assume the person that wrote this has a slight foot fetish? If I had to go further I would guess they like being humiliated by women(the women hurting him then trying to protect it and take it to hospital).. plus the other one saying she wont "catch a charge" unless she kills one. This is actually very funny. Not sure whether you meant it to be OP. Either way 8/10 thread. Would read again
    I don’t have a foot fetish, but this was made to appeal to guys who do. I’m into getting shrunk and dominated by hot chicks

  9. #9
    Fitmisc Pariah Janoy Cresva's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by FitLord View Post
    I don’t have a foot fetish, but this was made to appeal to guys who do. I’m into getting shrunk and dominated by hot chicks


    I'm here for the ments.

  10. #10
    pharma bro martin shkreli's Avatar
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    the brock lesnar of pharmaceuticals
    *SOILDER for china*
    *piss inside womans pussy crew*
    *BBRP's soldier crew*
    *OG explosion crew*
    *phone poster crew*
    *so alpha that i quote myself in my signature crew*
    Quote Originally Posted by martin shkreli View Post
    im highly masculine. i just consider it pointless being friends with men because you cant have sex with them. why bother being friends with people you cant even have sex with?

  11. #11
    pharma bro martin shkreli's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by FitLord View Post
    I don’t have a foot fetish, but this was made to appeal to guys who do. I’m into getting shrunk and dominated by hot chicks

    the brock lesnar of pharmaceuticals
    *SOILDER for china*
    *piss inside womans pussy crew*
    *BBRP's soldier crew*
    *OG explosion crew*
    *phone poster crew*
    *so alpha that i quote myself in my signature crew*
    Quote Originally Posted by martin shkreli View Post
    im highly masculine. i just consider it pointless being friends with men because you cant have sex with them. why bother being friends with people you cant even have sex with?

  12. #12
    Senior Member Giga Pajeet's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Deep Purple View Post
    Nice to see feedback like that opposed to people just saying “Didn’t read” etc.
    But i didn't i just looked at the pictures

  13. #13
    pharma bro martin shkreli's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giga Pajeet View Post
    But i didn't i just looked at the pictures
    what did you think of the comic mr. pajeet ?
    the brock lesnar of pharmaceuticals
    *SOILDER for china*
    *piss inside womans pussy crew*
    *BBRP's soldier crew*
    *OG explosion crew*
    *phone poster crew*
    *so alpha that i quote myself in my signature crew*
    Quote Originally Posted by martin shkreli View Post
    im highly masculine. i just consider it pointless being friends with men because you cant have sex with them. why bother being friends with people you cant even have sex with?

  14. #14
    Senior Member 'snot that bad's Avatar
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    @FitLord do you have any more scanned comics?

  15. #15
    Member FitLord's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 'snot that bad View Post
    @FitLord do you have any more scanned comics?
    Someone else wrote the script for this and I drew it, but I can’t remember what order the pages go in.










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