Do the approach anxiety program from goodlookingloser, shit is legit
In that case I realized I'm doing more harm to myself, my thoughts were to basically block out every fake/unloyal person in my life and keep only the most fitting and loyal person...
Realize I was no popular kid and most friends were 1-2.. But these friends are the ones I'll be talking to for the rest of my life.
All those kids that would shake your hand, say wassup, treat you like you're their "friend" in school but actually never even hit you up outside of school are the biggest waste of time and the fakest of all people...
It took me a while to understand this, even the people you've hung out w/ a few times.... try not texting them for a lil while or communicating with them and see how long it takes them until your name even comes up in their thoughts...
Many fakes/Very few loyal
shit was so pathetic how I was living at that time literally cut everyone off stayed inside all fucking day stood up all night playing video games jerking off but in those years I changed a lot I'm not the same person I used to be
True man surrounded around nothing but fakes
Well today there are no tribes, but this mentality isn't as easy to shake off.
People tell you to workout/work on appearance because it's "social proof" in that it requires no explanation. By being good looking or being better looking version of your self, you have intrinsic value that you carry with you everywhere. So being good looking you have "approval" to act socially robust or "confident" way.
Do you know what it is to be confident? A person who has all this social proof that's been repeatedly approved in so many ways (not just looks) that acting socially robust is a given.
There still are good looking/smart/successful people that can be socially anxious, so what gives?
The trick is to forget all this bs hierarchy and act socially robust anyway. Do not seek approval, just be. This is harder then it sounds, you brain isn't fucking stupid it will still hold on to this dreaded hierarchy. You will constantly be in fear of looking foolish or not being received well by those around you because you might not be X,Y or Z. Well guess what fucko, no one knows what to make of all this life going on. Everyone is just going through the motions like you trying to figure things out. Get OUT of your fucking head and just be.
I don't know if anyone has mentioned it yet, but consider going to a crowded area in the city and make small talk with as many people as possible. Exercise your schmoozing skills so you can practice being present and engaged in the moment with someone. This a mental muscle like any other that requires repeated flexing and resistance in order to stick around otherwise your body will literally forget it and you will revert to your old reserved/approval seeking/retard self.
Hope some of this helps
I agree I can't control it I really do fucking try that's y I'm still here and haven't fucking offed myself yet
Friendship is an active investment, it takes more then just repeated handshakes to make someone a true friend. Consider inviting them out with you or taking part in a activity together to forge some sort of common ground where your friendship can grow and take off. Everyone's world doesn't revolve around you and if you stop trying to take an active interest in building friendships, you will be forgotten and no will hit you up ever. Also consider that some of those people might have the same sort of reservation and mental hang ups as you so that might play a part as well.
Remember friendship is like a fucking plant the more withdraw inside yourself and ignore the plant, it dies. Don't let the fucking plant die
Understand that you are human and your character is forever malleable. As long as you are self-aware and interested in changing, it's possible.
Take action now, log out if you must
This site will only cause you to further withdraw into yourself if the other parts of your life are in disarray
Well today there are no tribes, but this mentality isn't as easy to shake off."
Comment: Referring this now to modern times, this so called "mechanism" is another way to say "society's expectations/how to please them." Also, that other "behavior" you're talking about, which you said will have you ejected from the tribe, is created by the whole village. There is a leader and the people will follow, things change, but we develop "trends". There was never an exact punishment for disorderly behavior because those were the people that would be described by "society" as different, as "other". "It's put in place as a safe guard", everything came from one thing and everything was developed into what it is today from beliefs. Saying it is an evolutionary mechanism makes no sense. I can agree to the extent in which in the old days, where "whichcraft" and "curses" were believed by everyone and whoever was believed to experiment with those 2 things would die/get killed. Fast forward to modern times today, our main, #1 thing that evolved us is technology, science, and medicine. It has become clear that such odd behavior can be triggered through traumatizing situations or is subconsciously learned through the society the person grew up in. The "punishment" today is non-comparable to that of tribal times, today, medicine would be prescribed to aid the person, not death. Society has learned how live with people of the unknown, that is why we are diverse but also the same. Social anxiety is simply a personality trait inherited through the people in your life who have set standards on what "perfect" and "tolerable" is.
Just as something negative can be absorbed, it can be dominated as well. An un-accepting society will dominate that of a single person. All behaviors look towards only one favorable behavior: the ultimate leader/inspirational, the type that make you want to improve life so you can live happier and wealthier.
There are many unexplained things in our world, What we know is we're all different (socially/communicating), and that we are also capable of controlling a nation w/ the right mindset.
As others said, you have to believe deep inside.
I've had social anxiety since at least high school. My growth spurt made me tall, but my body didn't (and still hasn't) filled out. Got picked on by a few people for it, but pretty much everyone would tease me a bit for being really skinny.
Girls either paid no attention or thought I was cute, not in a "he's hot" sort of way, more in a "he still looks like a child" sort. :/
Joined a social anxiety forum, but didn't stay active because the place was just so f*cling depressing (can we swear on here?). I mean just a bunch of hopeless cases wallowing in self pity really and I know I've got this problem, but I don't want to devote my life to talking about it, I want to *fix* it.
Anyway, I learned of a medication called Phenibut, sold as a supplement in the US and UK. I've been self medicating with that for some weeks now, cycling obviously and never the same dosage.
I didn't want something that would dope me down and make me tired like prescription meds. Plus I didn't want mental issues on my file either, so I've never been to a doctor or psychologist about it.
My social anxiety isn't as bad as some peoples. I hold down a job, I can go out (although I don't like to) and can make small talk with people sometimes.
But walking in public is the main thing for me. I just feel like people are looking at me and judging me. I just want to slip by unnoticed, but it never works like that.
For a long time I avoided eye contact, but I knew it was making me look pathetic. So I started keeping my head up and not looking away from people, now I get people muttering stuff about me staring at them or looking at them funny. I just don't understand eye contact at all. The internet says it'll make you look dominant or unafraid, but maybe I overdo it? I don't actively try to stare people down, I just look straight ahead and if they're there I see them obviously. It might have something to do with my expression that either looks kind of miserable or serious I think.
I think if I was quite well built then the eye contact thing would either lead to fights or to respect. But at the moment people just see some creepy skinny phaggot staring them down I guess. :/
The phenibut works to an extent. It makes me very talkative to people I know or have struck up conversation with. But it won't make you approach strangers unless you want to.
I've not been over 1.5g yet, 500mg for me made me more alert and less caring about what other people think, 1g to 1.5g made me amazing at work.
Positive side effects for me were I feel stronger when it kicks in - like literally chucking heavy stuff about like it weighs nothing. My skin looks better when I use it and sometimes I get a very nice body sensation briefly, like my body just feels nice.
I think it must put my expression at ease too because I don't get as many comments when I'm on it either, so maybe it is how I look at people, either that or it stops me caring.
I often take it on busy days at work. I work in retail, in the warehouse section but it means on busy days I have to have a lot of energy and balls to deal with so many people. I'm not that anxious at work because I feel comfortable there, but taking this with caffeine pills makes me amazing with customers plus the strength thing and I pretty much keep going all day like the energiser bunny, which is good because we're understaffed and a lot is expected from me.
People have noticed a change definitely. Ultimately I don't want to depend on it though so I'm doing my best to keep doing as I'm doing when I'm on it on days when I'm off it, to take what I learn and apply it. We'll see how that pans out in the long run I guess.
No negative effects yet. Longest I took it was three days in a row - 500mg, 1g, 1.5g, off for three days.
Only bad thing is you can't eat for two hours whilst having taken it on an empty stomach because it needs an acidic environment to digest.
Overall my anxiety is linked to body issues I think, which is why I want to build myself up and be confident in my body.
man OP between anxiety and drinking yourself OP you are wearing yourself out srs
you have to get to the root of the anxiety problem and face it
so if it's talking to people w.e you just gotta face it and rationalize it
If you don't give a fuck what others think you will get less anxious, now that sounds bad, but if you have standards you live up too, then is it really that bad??